All my life I’ve faced adversity.
When I was 23 years old I left a 7 year abusive relationship. My ex sent out a letter with his version of events of not only our relationship, but basically of my life.. to everyone I knew. From my grandmother, aunts, uncles, to all of MY friends. Just about everyone who got that letter who I considered a friend, never talked to me again. They never called me and asked me what happened. They didn’t ask me if I was ok or if I needed help. I lived on a coworkers couch for 3 weeks until I saved up enough money to get a cockroach infested apartment with another coworker. These people I called my best friends for years still don’t talk to me. And it still kind of hurts even ten years later when I’m completely comfortable with the decision I made to secretly leave and can firmly say that he was a pathological liar.
I went through a similar situation just a few years ago around the time my daughter was born. One person I called a dear friend who felt I wronged them in a decision I had made for myself and didn’t involve them (and shouldn’t have involved them) went on a rampage of telling people never to talk to me again. Two people wrote me hateful emails. Many removed me from their lives. Not a single one ever asked me my side of the story. No one ever got to hear how I was used as a scape goat and how I was treated.
I’m wiser now. And though it still stings just a little, I know that this was all part of the plan to show me who I didn’t need in my life. Sometimes we wish for certain people to be there for us in our times of need and we feel so alone when those people aren’t there, but those voids will be filled with people who WANT to be there. It was also a lesson to listen to my instincts. That nagging feeling you get when something isn’t quite right, but you try to push through it over and over. That feeling is there for a reason. It’s a reminder to take a step back and analyze the situation before it gets out of hand.
Friends will show their true colors in times of adversity.